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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in The Third Space's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, May 31st, 2009
3:26 pm
HRT and herbals,are they safe to combine?????
Hello everyone,my name is Mattie.I am taking  the plunge from caterpillar to butterfly in late june and going on HRT.I am trying to find out if it is safe to take hormones and breast enhancing herbals together.Perhaps I should just ask my doctor,but it has been my experience that doctors abhor the idea of anyone taking herbal concoctions.I was told by a friend that Livejournal might be a good place to find answers.
                                         ~Thank you for time,Mattie S.
Monday, April 14th, 2008
7:41 pm
Hi.  I have a male body, but often don't feel male fully describes me.  My "normal" state is probably just to the male side of neutral.  I feel more like a male normally, though I have many characteristics that are accepted as being female traits.  There are many times, however, that I feel completely female, sometimes more on that side that I ever do on the male side.

I have no ability to recall what I look like when I'm not looking in a mirror, and can't feel any part of my body without consciously doing so or having something rub against me.  As such, when I feel the most feminine, my mind tells me I have breasts and female genitailia, not male.

I've often wondered what it would be like to actually a female body, but have never had the desire to get a sex change.  Though there are times it would be nice to have a female body when I feel like a female, I am happy with the body I currently have.

Not so sure what else to say, so I'll stop babbling.


Current Mood: blank
Thursday, January 31st, 2008
10:54 am
Petition the British Government to recognise *all* gender identities.
On January 15th I did a post on Genderqueer mentioning how I'd created a petition on the No.10 website, -So that all the British genderqueers and their allies can lobby their government to legally recognise the fact that *not everybody* fits perfectly into the currently available gender categories of male and female.

I've just recieved an e-mail from the number 10 petition team It said that my petition has been approved by the Number 10 web team, and is now available on the Number 10 website at the following address:


Read MoreCollapse )
Friday, September 28th, 2007
2:37 pm
western Massachusetts, southern Vermont, and Connecticut

First-ever Northampton, MA Transgender Pride March & Rally

Hello everyone,

You are receiving this email because I need your leadership and your

voice in organizing the area's first ever Transgender Pride
March and Rally in 2008. It's time to bring the transgender communities in the western Massachusetts, southern Vermont, and Connecticut areas together and have a day of celebration and organizing.

Why? Because it's not enough to be "included" in the Gay Pride Parades.

Because the Transgender Day of Remembrance should not be the only time we get together and have a community rally. Because we have important trans-inclusive legislation pending in Connecticut and Massachusetts that we need to pass to protect

I'm counting on you to forward this email to all trans-related groups

in the area, including all five colleges queer/trans groups, East Coast Female to Male Group, Unity of the Pioneer Valley, TREE, Twenty Club, Sunshine Club, Brattleboro Trans Group, MTPC, and any organizations or groups that I missed.

The first organizational meeting is on NOVEMBER 1, 2007,

Media Education Foundation

60 Masonic Street

Northampton, Massachusetts 01060

If you are interested & are in the covered areas, lets meet up and attend together. Comment here, email, etc. I'm in W.Mass, about 30-40 mins away from Noho., and just over the border of Granby & Suffield, CT.

Current Mood: chipper
Saturday, August 11th, 2007
10:16 am

Sunday, August 12th

A day at the beach for transgender, gender non-conforming, and genderqueer people, our families and allies.

We don’t always feel safe or comfortable at the beach, but EVERYONE has a right to have fun on the sands! On August 12th, we’re taking over Coney Island (well, a part of it anyway). Whether your “swimsuit” is a bikini or a t-shirt, come to hang out, swim, relax, and play some games in a safe, fun and supportive environment. And bring your friends!

This event was buckets of fun last summer with lots of TMCNetwork members attending. Let’s do it again!

Meet us at Coney Island on Sunday, August 12th, after 11am. Look for us beach-side, directly across from the boardwalk entrance to the New York Aquarium. Look for a sign that reads "G.I.P. Event."

To travel by subway, take the D,F,N, or Q to the West 8th St stop/New York Aquarium.

For rain information, contact the Gender Identity Project at 212-620-7310 ext 254 by 10am the day of the event. There will be a message regarding cancellations.

Flyer with map: http://www.tmcnetwork.com/flyers/Trans_on_the_Sands_2007.pdf

Sponsored by the Gender Identity Project's Trans Events Committee.
Thursday, August 9th, 2007
4:25 pm
Howdy all,

First off, I have been in an interesting mind lately about being trans and playing on a women's team. Anyone else play a sport on a women's team? How do you feel about it? II play on a women's football team and over half of the team is gay but still, I wonder how many would have an issue if someone came out as trans and not just really butch. :)

Also, soooo...who in the Northest would be up for a meet up picnic or something in the next month or so?


Kelly :)
Thursday, August 2nd, 2007
9:53 pm
Body Modification
So I am in the middle of this book on body modification politics called In the Flesh; it's by this sociologist Victoria Pitts. She talks about the methodology in which she gathered interviews which (I forget the name) basically involves getting a smattering of people in a subculture/[ethnic]group and how there were a large number of queerly identified folk (ranging from transfolk to lesbians and gay men). She points out that it signals something interesting in the movement of modifiers--I just got onto the queer politics and body mod'ing section, so I'll let you all know what she has to say; so far I like her, she's articulate and pretty righteous (the good kind). She says that though it doesn't represent Westerners at large it may/does represent a unique aspect of the body mod community.
She uses the language commonly used by a large number of body modifiers to describe themselves and ths modifiers are said to have "marked bodies" and be "marked persons". She goes on to talk about how this coincides with the rise in Identity Politics over other forms of politics and the emergent (as of 1970-ish) discussions of the place of the body in politics.

I suppose the question I wish to put forth, or rather the invitation, is to gather any input regarding body modification in the queer community.

For myself I know that marking my body is something that I do to mark me as an other and because growing up I was already marked, as Victoria Pitts mentions, by those around me. I was/am scarred and bruised, literally and metaphorically, by the consequences of my life. My markings now are my choices and I choose to use them to create a story on my body that illustrates what I believe and who I am. However, like Pitts points out, the readings of my markings are not simply made by the knowledge I possess of their meanings, but by others experiences with/of the symbols I put on my body.
In my experience people who are queerly identified tend to have marked bodies more often than non-queerly identified folks, especially those who defy assimilationist politics. Whether this is an expectation of, or a product of, queer [political]identity I couldn't say. I think, however, that it is interesting to situate, thereby complicating and implicating, body modificatin in the discussion of political identity.
Surely as often as not those anti-assimilationist politics belong to those who are not queerly identified as those who are; further, the question arises: What is the language of the marked body and how do we discuss it without essentializing that language (i.e. saying these images and marking choices are made and implemented to such an extent by such and such a type of person)?

I suppose this is a rant, and maybe it doesn't seem to involve the trans community and/or trans politics, but I feel like it does since Pitts points out (rightly so, I believe) that certain marginalized groups--most notably those that are queely defined--tend towards marking their bodies it might be worthwhile to discuss the experience of marked and marking bodies in the queer[ed] community.
Sunday, July 29th, 2007
3:19 am
Hi, community. My first name isn't really "Havana", but close enough. I'm a girl, in terms of sex, but I've always been a bit "off". I never had any interest in being a wife and mother...when the other kids played house, I wanted to be the family dog. I never fit into the tomboy template very well either, but it was pretty clear that I was queer. When I was little, my sister told me that I reminded her of Arvid from "Swing Kids" (my sister had awful taste in movies), and then when I got a little older, she said she thought of me as a brother.

When I first heard about trans people, I couldn't really relate because I didn't want a penis and I didn't feel like I was trapped in the wrong body. I was just a girl who was masculine. Granted, I was 9, and I was hearing about transpeople via talk shows. It wasn't exactly a positive way to learn.

I thought it was wrong that masculine girls got accused of not being "real" women, and because I didn't want to be pigeon-holed that way, I resisted admitting I liked girls. I was perfectly open about being uncomfortable with very feminine things, but that had no bearing on my self-image. As long as I was straight, I was a "real" woman, and anyone who said otherwise was sexist.

Of course, I wasn't actually straight, and throughout adolecense I broadened my definition of what a "real" woman was. And now I realize it doesn't matter very much, and that what was bothering me, and what continues to bother me, is how people treat one another based purely on their sex. I used to think that "queer" was a high insult, a negation of humanity rendering you not he or she but it. So being either a he or she was very important, even if you weren't the stereotypical male or female. Of course, the next step in such thinking is to destroy the two catergories altogether.

Starting 3 years back, I started giving serious thought to gender. I eventually realized that I could relate to transpeople more than I thought...not cartoon transpeople served up as freaks by the media, but living, breathing human beings. I also had to admit that I was rather androgynous. And then I started thinking about my masculinity, and anthropomorphized it for a while. Then I got more comfortable with it and began expressing it more. I cut my hair recently and though I don't dress any differently or bind, I now get mistaken for a boy from time to time. At first it made me very nervous, but nobody's gotten too uptight over it, and to be honest, I sort of like it. I never felt comfortable with "girl" stuff anyway.
Saturday, July 28th, 2007
11:29 am
I guess I, too, need to introduce myself.  I'm never very good at this.

I'll begin with what I have on my user info: I am a middle-aged, multi-ethnic (primary identity is Latino), multi-gender, former foster/street kid turned counselor, and working on a second graduate degree, but this time in psychology.  Natally female, but always have been male with a twist (binders and bows)  in outward expression and multigendered in mentality. 

I have been on t for about 9 months, and menopause was the trigger for me to start it.  Mid-life is a great time to start adolescence again.  I don't care what pronouns people use for me--unless it is a safety issue, and only then I would hope for consistency--and I legally have both a female-ish and a male name.  Many friends mix pronouns in the same sentence...it's good.

Other than that, I work primarily with street youth and families in crisis, and I love what I do.  The youth I work with have been the most accepting and matter-of-fact about my gender(s) or lack thereof. (and yes, I know a high percentage of them are LGBTQ)  One of my clients said it best: when he was asked by another client as to whether  I was male or female, his response was "It depends on the day.  T's an okay dude."  That's enough for me.
Friday, July 27th, 2007
11:10 am
Hey, go me, apparently I never posted the bio I wrote for this community. I'm a winner. :)

So Howdy all, I am Kelly, a newly 30 year old, trans person in Central Connecticut. As for pronouns, I challenge people to see where I fit in their head and use the appropriate ones...I know, not fair, but kinda fun. :)

I left the old FTM communities years ago because even then the amount of Drama was total crap.

I decided to transition when I was in my early 20s. I got my letter and 2 days before i started T, really started to rethink why I was transitioning. It was a realization that I was going to change my body to make other people feel more comfortable calling me a man. Up to this point, I bound, but did not pack as I found the idea of needing a penis to be a man ludicrous. I did not start T, and I am very happy with my choice, though in traditional FTM settings, it is interesting how threatened and judgemental people can be about it. I love all my FTM brothers who opted down that road, it is just not for me.

I am neither gender and taking T would have just helped other people live in their own little binary place. I still dress male, love my gender neutral name and will have top surgery (just because I find them tedious...i mean, they don't really do anything do they? Kinda like big, ugly christmas ornaments you put on the back of the christmas tree so no one sees them.

Glad to see all the cool people who have joined, great idea moderators!

4:07 am
Terminology & Resources
Here are some terms frequently used in communities like this one. These are blanket definitions... I am not telling you that these definitions are the only ones. You can define them for yourself. I've seen many heated discussions about terminology and would prefer that we calmly discuss our differences.

Sex: 5 sexes: male, female, 3 types of intersex. Biological.
Gender: how we feel about ourselves as a man, women, neither, both, etc. Often seen as a social construct.
Gender expression: how we express our gender, can be masculine, feminine, and every possible combination :)
Intersex: having a combination of male and female reproductive organs. medical/genetic condition.
Cisgender/cis-gender:used to describe a non-trans person, their sex matches their gender: female-woman, male-man. [usage debated in transgender community]
Sexual orientation: how we define ourselves as bisexual, pansexual, homosexual, heterosexual, etc.
Sexuality: attraction toward others.
FTM/F2M: female to male.
MTF/M2F: male to female.
Transgender: an umbrella term to describe those who cross the gender lines, can include cross dressers, gender-different individuals, transsexuals, drag queens & kings, etc. [heavily debated definition]
Transsexual: often used to refer to those who have undergone surgery and/or hormones. often refered to as a medical/genetic condition.
GRS/SRS: gender reconstructive/reconstruction surgery, sexual reassignment surgery
Top surgery: double mastectomy with nipple grafts. Removal of the female breasts and a surgical creation of a male chest.
Bottom surgery: constructing a penis or testicular implants, or constructing a vagina and vulva. More common for MTF individuals.
Hormones:chemicals that help produce secondary sex characteristics in people (breasts, facial hair, deeper voice, softer skin, hair growth, fat distribution, etc).
Gender binary:a common idea that there are 2 genders: man and woman, with the gender referring to the biological sex.
Third gender:an umbrella term for those individuals who fall outside of the gender binary, or who reject the binary. Can include genderqueers, transgender, drag performers, two-spirit, agender, no-gender, etc.
"Letters":often letters from a therapist are needed to start on hormones and to have surgery.
Standards of Care:guidelines set forth to care for transgender and transsexual individuals. Include guidelines for hormones, surgery, real life test, etc. Often followed by therapists, but not always.
Binding:using something to bind the breasts flatter to give the appearance of a male chest. Methods: a binder (Underworks is common), waist trimmer, ACE bandages, layering shirts, the Frog Bra.
Packing soft:using something to create the appearance of a penis and/or testicles. Methods: sock, condom/hair gel packer, store-bought packers [see links].
Packing hard:often using a harness and dildo to penetrate for sex.
Tucking:creating the appearance of female genitalia by pushing the testicles up into the body and tucking the penis back.
Genderqueer:often defined as being in-between man and woman, outside of the binary, being both and neither at the same time. Sometimes seen as gender-fluid.
Drag:dressing in the opposite gender for performance.
FFS: facial feminizing surgery, often seen in the MTF community. Can involve hair removal, tracheal shaving, and other cosmetic surgery to give the face a more feminine appearance.

Links!Collapse )

Current Mood: awake
12:48 am
the land of the in-between
I'm excited to see that this community exists!

I'm Adrian, nearly 28, female-bodied but neither truly male or female-identified. I've been coming to realize with more clarity in the last several weeks that, while I have long felt like neither male or female, I feel more male than female. I don't know for certain what this will mean for me and suspect at the moment that physical transition will probably not be in my future. I don't have a great need to be seen as a man, as the man that I am is already very unconventional. I am a really clear balance of emotional and analytical. I am a very sensitive person and yet I feel like I also embody a kind of toughness (admittedly, much of this toughness is tied up in being able to handle the intensity of my own complex emotions).

I recently decided to masculinize the spelling of my first name and change my middle name as well to a male name. I haven't done so legally yet but have begun using it fairly often in every day life and have found it really freeing. I also found myself asking my partner to sometimes use male pronouns in reference to me--something I didn't really know I was going to ask for until it came out of my mouth.

I enjoy in a lot of ways being seen as complicated, confusing, perplexing. I love the moments when I am seen in the exact same moment as a man and a woman by two different sets of eyes. (or, sometimes, as a girl and a boy. funny how age and gender are so tangled up.)

But lately, what I enjoy most is an internal sense of myself as a man. A man who is not afraid to be kind, emotional, and sensitive. But a man who is also playful, tough in his way (sometimes in a sissy kind of way, but that's an identity I also value), sexy, and confident. It's funny how my sense of confidence only grows the more of a man I let myself become. Even if I am a man with breasts. Hell, I don't see why it can't be possible. I refuse to let it be as simple as so many people have told me it is.

Thanks for reading. I'm looking forward to hearing about what experiences everyone else in the community has had.

Current Mood: content
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
9:24 am

Hey everyone, I'm Sarah. I found this comm through boidragon. 
I'm a cis-gendered female, and I am really interested in gender and gender-identity. 
I have such a hard time trying to explain non-binary gender issues to people, it actually amazes me how unaware a lot of my friends are. Maybe I am just really naiive and optimistic about the world when I expect people to understand what I mean when I say trans. 
I'm really happy to have found a community like this one!

9:02 am
Further Reasons why my job sends me into a nervous breakdown once a week
So the other day this woman, a fellow "team member" as we're so euphemistically called comes to the register and asks what my tattoo means (There's a picture at the bottom of this post). I explain that it is, in fact, a political statement that we need to unlearn binary gender. Mind you, I am always hesitant to answer this question because I don't know how the asker feels about things, or if they won't understand a word out of my mouth, plus, I don't usually give a shit about other people (so I'm an angry little troll, I work retail, I'm allowed). Her response "So that means you don't know what gender you are?" My response: [eye twitch, me scurrying to get drink orders filled].
That was just the start to my craptastic day on tuesday, which ended with me wanting to kill myself--in this case that's not too far off from the truth. For more details about that day look at my journals Flucxus or Greatgreatminds (I don't know how to do the journal link thinger)

Read more...Collapse )

Anywho, yeah, Target blows, but if you ever want to shop from them let me know, I have a discount number as an employee.
Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
10:39 pm
Short intro
Greetings :)

I'm Jodi, cis-gender female, femmy-geeky-grrl and girlfriend of Kyle, one of the mods here. I'm 33, pansexual, polyamorous, pagan, purple-haired, plump, perky, plucky, and sometimes persnickety. :-P 

I don't believe in the whole binary gender system, I think it's too simple and we are complex creatures. Whether it's genetics or environment or some combination, who knows why we are the way we are.... The point is, we are all here on this planet together. We are all human, and it should not matter if we are male, female, or other-gendered. If you have not read it, I suggest reading Stranger In A Strange Land by Robert Heinlein. It's a wonderful piece of sci-fi that touches on gender-neutrality. :)

Current Mood: content
11:30 am
Lately there's been a lot of discussions about bathroom usage. I want to point out that bathrooms do not define our identity and that we need to remember that. That said, a lot of transmasculine people wish to use the men's, and transfeminine people wish to use the women's. Also, some cisgender individuals face problems when picking a room, too. So we're not alone :)

TG-masculine in the men's room:
*don't look at other guys dicks or make eye contact
*generally, don't talk
*keep your head + eyes straight or look down
*act as if you belong
*if using a STP device, aim for the urinal
*zip up, wash hands
*if on your period, be quick and quiet about changing products

TG-masculine in the women's room:
*do your business
*IMO, best to use if you're on your period
*don't talk unless w/ a friend (can help with safety)
*wash hands
*don't stare, don't make eye contact
*if feeling unsafe, carry a tampon in a visible place - hands
*lie and ask for a tampon if people are giving you weird looks (works great at rest stops)

If stalls are single, locked (like in some restaurants) it's perfectly fine to use either. If the rooms are multi-stalled, I've found it's best to use the women's with a friend esp. at malls. If you need to hand over ID (buying alcohol, etc) use the restroom that matches your sex marker, unless they just do a quick check. For me, my ID tends to be analyzed and/or passed around so everyone knows I'm female but look like a guy. If your friends out you, please use your best judgment and use the room that is the safest -- and then tell your friends not to do that again! If you are with all girls and don't look "manly" it will most likely be assumed that you, too, are female. If you're with all guys, you will probably pass as a guy.

FTM Guide - bathroom use
FTM Passing Tips - bathrooms
FTM community - bathrooms
FTM community - standing to pee

At school, it can be a lot harder because some might know us according to our bio sex. If you live on an all-female floor (I did for 5 semesters), be confident in your appearance and use the bathroom. Be prepared for looks, questions, girls reporting back to the RA on the floor, etc. If you are lucky enough to be living on a mixed floor with a mixed bathroom, yay for you! Outside of your dorm, you might have a choice of the M, F, or a single stall everyone bathroom, usually the accessible ones. Look for bathrooms that don't have a lot of traffic and use those. Use the rooms during class instead of between classes. If you are friendly with a prof., see if you can use theirs if you explain the situation.

I prefer single stall because I tend not to pass, and I use the women's at school and when I'm with a friend for safety. Almost all of my friends are female and we use the bathrooms together. I have been harassed going into the bathroom, coming out of the bathroom, have been threatened with manager calls, and have had to leave places/restaurants because of situations regarded me wanting to pee, so I'm all for safety first.

Current Mood: calm
10:36 am
Re: Logan
So, I was thinking about the whole day-to-day thing and I think there's something to be said for daily fluctuations. I think that's not really anything to be upset about (not saying you were), in fact I think it's very interesting, because I think straight, gay, tg or bio everyone goes through those fluctuations. I think it's just that our position as t-folk makes it a more precarious situation.

Let me elaborate:
I think that, not in any valorizing or negative way, t-folk are necessarily more attuned to the fluctuations in presentation and connection to/of gender/sex than others. I think that everyone notices it and that's why women (some really girly girls, mind you, and this is nto a universal) will say they feel very boyish/butch wearing jeans and sneakers instead of a skirt and guys will say they feel gay (read: feminine) when they get primped up or exhibit anything not traditionally masculine. I think the fluctuations you (Logan) experience daily are not something to be worried by or to stress over too much, perhaps you should embrace it more.
Whenever anyone asks me how I identify I say male; if I know them well I'll admit that I feel like male is my base and everything else is what I act out from that male base; and, if we're super close I'll admit that I don't have the faintest idea what I am, I just know that male feels better on a more regular basis than female ever did.
As far as theory goes, on that one, I have no heory that I'm particularly fond of that explains it. I could say that post-modernism/-structuralism fits the feeling, but I don't agree with a lot of either of those things, because they're so overwhelmingly racist/unconscious of race and classist/unconscious of class.

Anyway, that's my two cents.

9:28 am
Mod Request
Can everyone who hasn't posted intros yet to thethirdspace please do so? I think that's about 6 of you. Thanks :)

Current Mood: chipper
Tuesday, July 24th, 2007
11:01 pm
intro post :)
Hi All,
I was kindly directed this way when I posted in a different community about not feeling exactly like a guy or a girl... I'm 23, 1.5 years on T, had top surgery. I mostly identify as male and check the little M box...It's just that in the day to day life, especially at school or work, I don't feel like I am really either and at the same time i feel parts of both genders AND i feel sometimes like i'm floating off in space in some different other gender...
anyway the parts about me that aren't about my confusing gender stuff: I'm a double major in sociology and studio arts, i love music, reading, comic books, painting, etc...so...yeah.
thanks for reading this if you did!

Current Mood: contemplative
11:22 am
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